A Not So Good Sunday (Well Thats Something New)

This sunday wasn't exactly a very good one, oh well. Like it doesn't really bother me, but it amuses me when I realize that yeah I've drifted from everyone. Don't really know how to explain it, I just can't talk to anyone anymore, and I never really felt like I really clicked with anyone. If I do it doesn't really last long, after awhile it just seems to fade yeah. But its okay, at least nowadays I don't make myself follow people around in hopes of like actually talking to people and stuff. Helps me save a lotta time that would really be wasted just waiting and watching other people. Yeah, I guess I'm always the person on the outside looking in, but its pretty much alright really.

Well enough of that, with all my extra time I was just thinking about stuff, and yeah, I kinda figured out why I like emo music, and why The Juliana Theory means so much to me. I love the theatricals, the raw emotions and feelings of emo music. Thats not to say I'm a very drama person, but yeah, I like the tradegies, I like the sad endings, I like all the extremes. And The Juliana Theory in particular was one of the bands that helped me along in my tough times. Its my shout and scream, headbang away all the things inside me music, and the music just makes it so easy to just let it out.

And I realized I'm not a talk to people person. Honestly if people come to talk to me yeah, its nice, but it doesn't change anything. Its more a case of I want people to care not listen, cause listening is easy (or at least to me). I guess when you think you know so much about something it doesn't really work on yourself anymore uh. But then again I've always gotten out of my situations alone with God, granted its a heck of a longer process and it hurts like crap. Strange how knowing I don't really have many friends doesn't affect me anymore. It used to matter so much, now I don't really care that much.

Guess its just another small black cloud in my life again, the rainbows never seem to last very long and the sun doesn't shine as often as it should but oh well, thats life.





Struggling yet again but pressing on,
With faith like a child.