I Wish...

I was Black. Uh huh for real and it's not some racist joke or anything. Like Black jazz musicians are AWESOME. They got the soul and the mad skills man no kidding. Just watching them do their stuff is amazing. Been watching clips on youtube of like jazz players, are these guys even human? Especially the bass players, like Marcus Miller and Victor Wooten, I'd kill to be able to play like that. It's like I wanna say 'WOW I'm gonna try and be like that someday!', but MAN it seems impossible. But ain't gonna be discouraged no, I'm just gonna keep working at it and see how far I can go yeah.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm plain crazy, ya know to try and do music, ESPECIALLY here in paper crazy Singapore. But hell I can't think of anything else I could do. And it's not cause I'm not good at anything else but more like music is more than a passion yeah. People who know my music listening habits will know I NEVER go anywhere without music. It's like 24 hours music for me. AND even if I happen to not have anything to listen to around me (It happens okay!), there'll be music playing in my head. Cool thing is I don't really get songs like really STUCK in my head, and sometimes I'll just come out with tunes of my own and stuff. I think I listen to way too much stuff to get anything REALLY stuck in my head. I think it's safe to say all the music I listen and have listened to has knocked out all the rubbish I learnt in school =P But yeah, I think my love for music goes beyond obsession. Like I'm more or less willing to forgo relationship stuff nonsense to go for music. I'm so ready to be some crazy dude who stays alone in his house playing music all day =s

Talking about love, I always find it ironic how people will tell me how I'd make a good boyfriend and all that stuff. I mean I've never been one before so yeah? And if I'm suppose to be that good how come I'm still single uh? *scratches head* But all in His time yeah, probably not time yet, OR it might not be what I'm meant for. I don't know if I've mentioned it before but I kinda told God some time in the past that if it was His will I'd stay single and serve Him all my life. And well, I honestly don't know if it's gonna happen, does seem to be so though. But yeah, I'm preparing for it just in case. If I do meet someone it'll be a real nice surprise right? ;P

On a side note I think I need more friends. My lack of friends has diminished my social skills to the point of me being dead boring sometimes. I guess part of the reason behind that is the fact I already don't have much of a life. Besides my music that is. And yeah, there aren't that many music freaks like me out there soooo you get the picture. And the problem is I don't like talking to guys too much cause well, guys are boring. (And yeah I am one of them I know.) And army has kinda crippled all social skills relating to gals. And well, the fact I'm pretty much more sensitive and girly myself doesn't really help. Cause when I'm kinda shy myself like DUH ain't gonna be much of a conversation. I am quite proud of my feminine side (Screw macho-ism and MCPs.), but yeah, I AM still very much a guy so I gotta act more like it sometimes I guess? Maybe it's a mid-life crisis kinda thing, but I really feel all girly-like sometimes, wanting to skip around and stuff. (I KNOW that is SO weird.) Thank goodness nobody reads the stuff I write here, and even if anyone did I wouldn't really care =s Well whatever, I'm me and I love being me so yeah, whatever man =P


P.S. - I know I'm not really making a whole lotta sense, I'm guessing it's cause I'm kinda bored ooorrrr the side of me I usually try and keep down is kinda taking control so bear with it ya'all ;s



With faith like a child.