A True Blue Romantic In a Cruel Realistic World

Sigh... why do I have to be such an idealistic romantic fool living in such a harsh realistic cruel world? Rational has taken over foolish musing and yeah, being more realistic about things I know not everyone has happy endings. Or what they feel are happy endings, I used to look forward to meeting some gal, all the romantic stuff and getting married and etc... but honestly now I'm happy just getting through every day, don't wanna think about 'love' anymore cause it just hurts. All I ever got outta it is broken promises, unfufilled dreams, hopes for things that will never come and tragedies of a broken heart. Doesn't sound very cheerful does it? =P But its all past I guess, emotions and feelings, I'm learning to control them. Like I prayed for something today, and that is to not love so quickly, not fall for people so fast and hard, not let my foolish emotions over ride logic. I've seen so many people pass me by and it just gets more painful each time, but I can't do anything about it. I can't be with anyone, that much I know myself, I could never let anyone suffer with me, no one deserves that, and my life is meant to be full of trials and pain, so much hurt I don't one anyone to have to share it with me. And besides relationships take up to much time and money, which I can spend and get more out of if I put in my music yeah. Guess I have realized why I always end up laughing and full of the Joy of the Lord when I'm touched by God, cause God knows without his joy I would have died off long ago, its the only thing that still keeps me alive. The only two things that give me joy in life is God and music, that is why music is my life, music and God are the only thing that keep me alive really, I'm not in a very cheerful mood now yeah sorry guys, just sorting things out yups =)