Finally My New Year Posting

ARGH, my computer just died on me TWICE while I was doing my new year posting, so I'll cut short some stuff and try and get it done fast =l

Haha first of all, I must say last year was great! Even though It was the crappest year so far (had A LOT of really bad moments, I actually got to a point I couldn't cry anymore which is weird for me), I seem to have drifted from a lot of people (gosh I hardly talk to anyone anymore =s) and I really don't know whats going to happen to me in the future (quitting school and stuff). Still, its the year God touched me in a new way, letting me feel His peace and comfort, and also He's thought me a lot about coping with loneliness. I guess my biggest problem last year was dealing with loneliness, I guess I'm the sort of friend who gives a lot but wants a lot in return too so not many people can really click with me, and it really got to me. But now you know, I feel at ease with just God keeping me company, I haven't really talked to anyone for days and its perfectly fine, I still feel at ease and yeah, not upset at all =) And I must say it was a good year for the church too, seeing things happen, and seeing things in youth ministry picking up woohoo! Yeah and God has blessed me with a lot, just amazing how much He loves me =D

And even though it was my loneliest year, I'm VERY VERY happy I got to know Salene better like really she's such a wonderful person! =D Salene I bet you didn't know you helped spark a "mini-revival" in me right? =P But you did! Haha, when I saw how on fire you were for God and CAM I was like WOW, WHAT AM I DOING MAN! It really challenged me to find God again and recapture that spark, to start the fire burning again and talking with you and stuff you know it really rubs off. And its really nice talking to you, like we can be talking about nonsense and suddenly we'll go to a more serious topic and you know, just share views and stuff, really learn a lot and its like just spontanous haha. Its good you didn't get to see too much of my crappy side =x And don't worry! I don't mind when you come and whine reallyyyy, like you're there for me so I'll be there for you too! I'll always be all ears =) And thanks so much for the book! Read a bit of it already and yeah, its good! Haha mannnnnn, I just love you to bits you're such a wonderful sister! *hugs* ^_^

And thanks Aud! You're a wonderful gal too ^_^ You saw my crappy side but still stuck around to try and cheer me up and stuff! Thanks yeah, know you have your own problems too so you can't always be around but its totally alright! I understand yeah? Just like I know I haven't always been around too =s And I'm just so impossible to read sometimes haha =P But yeah, it was nice having you as an AGL, I think i did my best job as a GL last year because I had a good AGL who I could still talk to like you! =D

And lastly theres Godsrockers, probably the most important thing in my life now (right below God that is =P). I love my ministry, really LOVE it, its almost everything to me. I know God has REALLY big plans for it, its so exciting! And all the wonderful people inside gosh... really love them all! Theres all the leaders, Shawn, Kelvin and Lynette, they did a good job last year. And I'll personally like to thank them for the help for Worship Night 2005, they really did help a lot with advice and suggestions.

And then theres Simon MAN, haha I absolutely LOVE playing with him and just talking about stuff. Like he really is a music man, can play so many things its amazing. And like its nice to just talk about ministry and exchange ideas and thoughts, I mean you're more grounded and practical which is good sometimes. Like I know for me theres a risk of getting carried away with things and yeah, its good to have someone to help keep me in check and to really rethink the ideas and thoughts I have. And the way we click with Eugene haha, its so cool! And I think theres a reason for the special 'chemistry', heres to many more years playing for God! Eugene is just another amazing person, he has improved at bass like how freaking fast! And he is like one of the more 'free-flow' players like me and Simon which is just wonderful, yeah God has really bless Godsrockers.

And of cause I can't leave out Kevin da man =P Haha it encourages me when I see him get excited for God, and it drives me on too, really just so excited about what is to come cause I see so much God can do. And it really is awesome watching him grow up through the years, how He slowly became more open to Go. Like last time you probably thought I was nuts and would joke about it and stuff when I was laughing after or during worship right? But now you know a lot and understand its more than just laughing haha. Heres to many more years rocking for God together! And to the day we release our first Godsrockers album! =P After we perform at Sonicfest of cause haha.

So whats ahead for the new year? I've got promises I have to keep with God, some really personal I wouldn't put here, but a few others yeah I don't mind people knowing:

1. Evangalism, I want to do something to bring people into church, I don't know what it is yet but I definately want to try. There was a quote by Bishop Graham Cray in the book Passion For You Name by Tim Hughes (the book Salene gave me! =D) which goes, "Worship without mission is self-indulgent. Mission without worship is self-defeating." And I think its very true, mission is a part of worship as much as music, reading the bible, or anything we do is, everything we do we should do for God as an act of worship. And missions is something definately missing in my life.

2. Better direction on what I'm suppose to do in the future. I talked to my dad today about wanting to go full-time and stuff and he really gave me a lot of food for thought, really have a lot to consider and most importantly, I have to be sure its what God wants.

3. To be able to maintain a healthy lifestyle of worship even though I'll be in army. This is very important to me, I don't want to backslide or try to 'fit in' by conforming to the norms of the outside world. Yes I will be nice and try and talk and get to know people, but no I wouldn't become them to do that, I wouldn't compromise on my beliefs.

4. More discipline to practise/study my music, whatever the case I know I want to do something music, its just whether or not its in church. But I think i need more discipline to spend more time on it, a dedication of worship to God to try and master my craft, the gifts God gave me to glorify Him.

5. What I try but haven't been able to do so far and probably will be harder next year, do regular quiet time. I don't open my bible often enough, that much I know myself, and I can't claim to know God intimately if I don't even spend time with Him. So I'm going to keep trying until I get it right, and I want it to happen this year.

Yups thats about it for now, and just a little bit of extra, I found last nights sermon interesting. Like I've always known I'm favoured by God but I think I kind of took it for granted. So yeah, just now I was like thinking gosh, I am a favoured son of God I'm very special, not because of who I am or what I can do but just because God loves me in a very special way. And it really makes me realise how much I've taken God for granted, I just want to try and make up for it all, give back as much as I can. Even though I know like no matter how much I give it'll be nothing compared to what He could give, but still I'll give my all and yeah, try as hard as I can for Him. And I really don't want to lose this favour God has for me. I want to be God's favoured son forever, its really nice how He always appears to me like a kind-hearted father who'll always relent in the end and let me have my way, and I really have become quite spoiled, its about time I started being more obedient. And I really am going to try and gain more favour from God, yeah, I want to be someone really special for Him, and thats going to be one of my biggest goals for my whole life, not just this year. I want to forever be God's favoured child =)




With faith like a child.