More Ranting Again

Am I some psycho-depresso kid or something? I have a tendency to think darker thoughts, and I seem to fall into my darker moods more easily. I don't know, I still haven't found much reason to live yet, so yeah, theres that so I honestly don't know what I'm doing here. And hm... I don't know, been trying to stop myself from feeling lonely by doing stuff but haha, it just makes the stuff I do so empty, I'm a people person with no people around, the irony. Oh well, maybe someday I'll get to know more people, make some really good friends and stuff, if I don't I hope I die early, haha although it looks like its gonna happen I really hope I don't have to spend my whole life alone, but we can't get the things we want most of the time isn't it? So I'm hoping at least for a early death, cause everything here is just a waste of time. Rush rush rush, and all this rushing is for what? Study study study, study so hard for what purpose? For money? For a better life? Haha, honestly is there purpose in all of these? Do people really feel happy after getting rich and all that? I wish I could still find some reason to be here, but it just seems like one prolonged journey of pain and suffering, people just going round in circles trying to look for happiness and all that haha. I'll just sit back and watch thank you, no game of charades for me, no chasing things that have no real meaning, call me cynical but friends don't really seem to matter that much too. And love haha, I don't even have to go there, its all feelings, nice things yeah, but then there are bad feelings too, so yeah hm... what exactly are feelings? I think they just cloud peoples' minds, make people do stupid things, believe in silly things haha, yups, never liked feelings all that much, I think its the cold era for me, emotionless is the new me. Fake smiles and laughters to hide a empty shell inside, I'll let the masquerade go on for a while more, doesn't hurt anyone really, phoniness can be so easy sometimes. And no one will really know, they never got anywhere close to the inside of me anyway, and they'll never know anything was missing haha.







Incomplete Is A Leech by As Cities Burn

unless you can part my ribs like the sea
and make stone beat, then there's no hope for me

unless the east never meets the west
unless you set my sin between your shoulderblades
and forget

part my ribs like the sea and change me
'cause stone doesn't beat
and rock hearts don't pump anything
but I've grown not to mind because at least
stone doesn't sling like blood
or spill like guts across the floor
where the bloodsuckers want more and more and more







I wonder if theres still hope for me?