Yawn

*Yawn* I'm so bored, and when I'm bored I start to feel lonely. Haha, what can I say, it is true I am lonely, hardly go out and don't really have people to talk to. *Shrug* Oh well, I'm getting used to just living alone with God, and music of cause, people hm... I guess I can live without them, sad that even the people closest to me don't even know the things that matter to me most, don't even know what I need when I'm feeling down, but then its okay really, I can't expect people to read my mind right? =P So yup, its okay, I'm just waiting for the one God will send to me, who I'd be able to completely open up to and really depend on, till that day, God will be enough I guess, its all I really have anyway, in fact He's probably the only thing I'm gonna need all my life, so yeah, its okay if I end up single all my life =) Its what I've been prepared for anyway, cause honestly I don't see how anyone I would like would wanna be with me, a kid with an uncertain future, highly emotionally unstable and very erratic. Only a crazy gal would want someone like me right? =P And I don't know, sometimes I wonder why God made me the way I am, He's given me such a capacity to love, I really just wanna give and give and let people know I really love them, but its just not possible. Everyones so busy, everyones rushing around, I seem to be the only one who wants to sit back and do the things that really matter, to spend time on the things I really treasure and are important. But yeah, studies and stuff is important so its okay, I'll just be around if people need me, like I always do, its partially why I left school anyway, to have time off completely for friends, but its not a main reason mind you haha, just a small part of it. Oh well, I guess its one of the things all people who sacrifice almost everything for other people will face, when their sacrifices seem to be for nothing, and people don't really seem to appreciate it that much (I know they do, just I don't know, I guess I'm a person who really needs to be loved =P). I guess part of it is cause I've always been told yeah, people care and stuff, but for me actions speak louder then words, a hug does a thousand times better then a simple "take care", just being there means the world to me. Yups, I'm the sort that loves to spend quaility time with people and not just use words but actions to back the care and love I have for other people, and I really like it for myself, but oh well, I don't really expect people to know so yups its okay, and I don't really expect them to have to do so much for me, so yeah, no worries cause God can give me hugs everyday ^_^