Almost Over The Edge

I'm almost there, haha, getting a little sucidial oh well, hopefully it doesn't lead to anything unreverseable. But yups, at the moment I'm just struggling with myself, crazy stuff going on in my head haha, in fact I almost killed myself a couple of times today haha, mind you I didn't intend it too which is the scary part. Strangely enough I just get crazy sucidal thoughts just from looking at stuff and yeah, I had to stop myself from walking right in front of vehicles while crossing the road, its just so weird. The whole day was weird, everything seem to be on silent, actually I think its like that everyday, just that I seem to notice it more today. Yups, I'm prepertually invisible, and no one really notices, and I don't even seem to be myself anymore. It feels more like I'm watching myself go through the motions. i don't know really, I think I'm going crazy, wonder how much longer before I totally crack up. Haha oh well, guess thats the way things are for me, I don't know I just give up.