Sigh...

Oh crap, I know I said no ranting for today, but I really can't help it... Its hard when you have no one to turn to, and all you can do is put in on your blog, haha, sad little pathetic thing I am. Its just so sad, when you're all alone, and you wish you had people to turn to but ya know, you're just one heck of a screwed up kid who wants to bother about you? And you just feel so alone, so very alone, and your heart is always cold, just like your thoughts are always dark, theres just no reason to live. I'm so close to wanting to kill myself, I can't take it anymore, but I know I can't... I have to 'live on' or so to speak, if I can call it living. Why does death seem so much better than life? Why is it all the wonderful things in life don't seem so wonderful to me? I don't know, sigh... this digusting sick cycle better end soon by any means, or I may really think of doing something permanent.