Another Boring Sunday

*Yawn* Sundays just aren't what they use to be anymore, it used to be the day I looked forward to most but *shrug* now its just another lonely day. Sat alone in service today, couldn't even open my mouth to sing anything, just couldn't do it. Then I sat through the rest of service and went home alone like I always do. I think i can never really smile again, seems too hard to, and I don't think I wanna feel again, just felt so cold today, didn't really matter what was happening around me cause yeah, honestly it all doesn't really concern me much, think I'll close up a bit more. Haha funny how all I wanted was for someone who could always be there for me, I guess thats asking for too much? I guess depending on people for support is another stupid idea I should have just avoided, yeah I didn't have many happy moments when I was closed up but I definately didn't have as many really sad moments compared to now. I guess its true the people you love the most can hurt you the most, so I guess its best not to love at all huh? Haha oh well, being cold isn't as bad as people make it out to be so yeah, cold and lonely it is, much better than emotional and in pain all the time haha =P