*Yawns*

My blog is decaying, and now I'm working, it'd probably get even worst =P anyway, now I gotta juggle between emo, indie, alternative, etc... music and jazz music. Gosh I like to many different genres of music... Good thing I'm working I guess this way I can continue building my CD library =P Haha yups, hm... guess I'll be busy from now on, which is good, I needa do stuff man =P

Empty.

Nothing much really. Got a bit of money yeah but *shrug* what is money really? Nothing really means anything to me anymore nowadays, yeah, given up on love and my emotions are dead, so don't have anything left for me on this earth. Which is good really, I'd be more than happy when God decides its time for me to go, so like I can just go and do anything with nothing to hold me back and happily wait for the day I die. Yeah I can't wait for that, than I'd be able to leave this sick twisted sad little earth which has only brought me pain and sadness. I may sound a bit bitter but *shrug* I really don't see anything on earth worth wanting to live longer for. For now I'll just do what I must, driven only by logic and purpose, emotions are troublesome, they just trip up thoughts, its so much better now that I'm able to control them, to feel only what I want myself to feel and cut off the rest. I don't know, I'm probably just talking rubbish, but it hasn't been a very happy Chinese New Year for me so pardon my ranting.




Everyone has slipped away.
Everything has slipped away.

Review of Emo, Emocore, Scremo, Hardcore, and All Music Loud and Emotional (Part 2)

Hey all, back again for my second review of bands !!! =P

First up we got Project 86, who like totally rock !!! They're a really good hardcore band, very dark music, and lyrics that really are thought provoking although they are very dark and depressing. But they are definately one of the best in their business, and they are out to stay the way they are, avoiding commercialization by even making an album that talks of companies taking bands and marking them as indie bands, or the public accepting whatever nonsense these big record companies sell. Really is brutal lyrically and soundwise, check em out at http://www.project86.com/ they have a new independent CD that rocks.

Next up is Juliana's Theory !!! One of my favourite emo bands gosh, they totally rawk !!! Like they did one of my favourite songs, If I Told You This Was Killing Me, Would You Stop? Its like my favourite song man !!! One of those nice screaming ones yeah. Check em out at http://www.thejulianatheory.com/ yups, they are a really awesome band.

Emotion Is Dead

Emotion Is Dead, its the title of one of Juliana's Theory's albums. Interesting cause it explains what I'm feeling like most of all. My emotions are dead, don't feel anymore, just emptiness, and I like this emptiness. No pain, no hurt, just cold and numbed. May be I'm talking nonsense but *shrug* I've been feeling like this for quite a while, here and there, and now its just all I feel and I'm happy about it yups.

Juliana Theory

As It Stands

Everything I have in mind
It begins to fade away
I searched for it and I longed for it
And now I know it's gone
Everything has slipped away
And I'm so overwhelmed
Everything that rests upon my shoulders fell
I would like to tell anyone who has depended on me for themselves,
I'm sorry
And everyone I've held in my arms
I believed I've pushed away
I would be there if I could be there
But as it stands, I'm gone
Everyone has slipped away
Don't be overwhelmed
Everyone that loved me more than I could tell,
I'm sorry
There's a private hell for anyone who lives to only love themselves
Everyone has slipped away
Everyone has slipped away
Everyone has slipped away
Everything has slipped away

Sigh... But Oh Well

Suppose go shopping today... note the suppose, cause in the end I'm stuck home with nothing to do but sleep the day away... Oh well, its expected really, most of the time when I ask people out I half expect they can't make it, and it almost always happens, so used to it already. Feel kinda sad too... but than I'm used to that too, I'm always feeling sad =P Yeah, guess I'm immune to depression already *shrug*, think I'll go back to sleep or something yups.




Resigned to my fate of enternal loneliness.
I start to feel cold with a mind thats stateless.
There is nothing to despair when there is nothing to expect.
Depression but only amuses the emotionless.

Now About My Day

Haha now its time to talk about my day, went out, shopping yeah, but didn't find anything ARGH, like I went to this shop that sells band T-shirts but drats, all the shirts I want couldn't find my size =( Shucks... what a bummer man... oh well, going shopping with my CG people tomorrow so yay !!! Hopefully I get some new stuff =) Thats about all for today really =P Haha nothing much going on yeah, just waiting for Chinese New Year and da cash =x

Review of Emo, Emocore, Scremo, Hardcore, and All Music Loud and Emotional (Part 1)

I am starting a new series of music reviews, haha just love my music. Anyway, yeah my first series is on really noisy music with screaming and stuff, and like yesterday I already put up the lyrics for the song by Showbread, so YES, my first band to introduce is Showbread !!!

Showbread is a truely unique band, playing a style that can only be described as a mixture of pop, punk and hardcore, which is truely bizzare. But the music is raw, lots of distorted guitar and screaming, its an amazing combination of music they have created. Their website is http://www.showbread.net/ go check it out they're a really good band.

Next up is Dead Poetic, a really great scremo/emocore band. For the uneducated, scremo is like a more hardcore version of emo music with screaming. And emo if you haven't figure out is emotional music, or that is the only way to describe it anyway. The music is great, the singing melodic while the screaming would suit any fan of hardcore music. Check them out at http://www.deadpoetic.com/

Thats all for today !!! Come again tomorrow for more on noisy music =P

SHOWBREAD

"Mouth Like A Magazine"

Turning over in interrupted slumber,
You ponder others, growing ever wakeful,
You've locked the vermin in the other bedroom,
To be so perfect causes you to feel so thankful,
Now find the fault because your boyfriend can't read,
Reflecting on to you is all the bitterness you need,
So unhappy, yet so preoccupied,
Never found beaten down with your forked tongue tied.

Your eulogy is like poetry,
But your mouth is like a magazine.

Queen dependency is cowering, please don't be confused,
You are vacant and submissive, receptive to abuse,
Virtue isn't tangible, and sense of self is dated,
Names constant on your cracked lips are now eviscerated,
Your spine is made of metal, Your veins are bound in electric tape,
And all along an impulse lights at random in your face,
Yough cought up an offering and forget which words are lies,
Then your skull echoes a singeing pop, as your brain is cauterized.

Within the walls I hear all of its legs,
There must be so many to carry it over our heads,
Seething and unsettled and oh such a let down,
And now these rusty spokes inside my head are making such a grating sound.

Man I'm in the scremo, emo and hardcore music mood now, like raw rock rawks man, all the screaming of voice and the heavy guitars, wow just blows your mind away. This song is like stuck in my head, it RAWKS, seriously just awesome, this band Showbread is unique, their like a seven piece band and they have like a key-tar, thats like a keyboard made to be like a guitar, how cool is that !!??!? Haha yeah, like I'm in my crazy jump around and get high with the loud music mood now, you don't wanna see me when I'm listening to my stuff cause I really look like a crazy druggie =P yeah, I headbang till I'm all sweaty and like I needa sit down for a rest awhile cause my head is spinning =P Thats what musics all about man, feeling the music and just moving with it, haha i just like to many genres of music =P

A True Blue Romantic In a Cruel Realistic World

Sigh... why do I have to be such an idealistic romantic fool living in such a harsh realistic cruel world? Rational has taken over foolish musing and yeah, being more realistic about things I know not everyone has happy endings. Or what they feel are happy endings, I used to look forward to meeting some gal, all the romantic stuff and getting married and etc... but honestly now I'm happy just getting through every day, don't wanna think about 'love' anymore cause it just hurts. All I ever got outta it is broken promises, unfufilled dreams, hopes for things that will never come and tragedies of a broken heart. Doesn't sound very cheerful does it? =P But its all past I guess, emotions and feelings, I'm learning to control them. Like I prayed for something today, and that is to not love so quickly, not fall for people so fast and hard, not let my foolish emotions over ride logic. I've seen so many people pass me by and it just gets more painful each time, but I can't do anything about it. I can't be with anyone, that much I know myself, I could never let anyone suffer with me, no one deserves that, and my life is meant to be full of trials and pain, so much hurt I don't one anyone to have to share it with me. And besides relationships take up to much time and money, which I can spend and get more out of if I put in my music yeah. Guess I have realized why I always end up laughing and full of the Joy of the Lord when I'm touched by God, cause God knows without his joy I would have died off long ago, its the only thing that still keeps me alive. The only two things that give me joy in life is God and music, that is why music is my life, music and God are the only thing that keep me alive really, I'm not in a very cheerful mood now yeah sorry guys, just sorting things out yups =)

Thinking

Gosh, valatines is coming and like haha, kinda just makes me depressed. Yups been feeling down and stuff about this kinda things, but kinda have it sorted out already. In fact it was suppose to be all sorted out already, guess somethings just are hard to put down. Thing is I gave up on relationships and 'love', gave it up the moment I chose to leave my school and go and do music, because I decided to commit my life to music and using it to glorify God, and relationships and all that usually just wear me down, so yeah, I gave it all up, if God wills I will find someone if not I'm fine with it. But guess its hard sometimes, you don't want to be alone right? And yeah it sucks, but like last night I was listening to music and I felt so much better. Kinda realize God did leave something else for me to keep me company, music. Which explains why I love music so much, its what makes me high, what gives me joy, what gives me a whole new meaning to life, and behind it all is God who made me able to appreciate music so much, to not just hear but feel, and understand the music, and gave me talents and the passion to want to know and learn everything about it. I guess you can say I'm a musical hermit, certainly feel that way, and I'm finally accepting that it is enough, God and music is enough for me I don't have to look for people who will love me or anything, i am satisfied =)

I am committed.
This man on a mission.
There is no turning back for this devoted musican.

Hm...

Hm... guess my blog seems kinda abandoned now haha, yeah been too lazy to update it =P well... whats new lets see, oh yeah I got a new CD, Smooth Like That by Doc Powell and WOW, its good, like really smooth and just way cool jazz. I'm aiming to play guitar like that someday, sure I can if I keep up at da rate I'm going now, 2-4 hours of guitar everyday, don't really have and exact period cause I just keep practising whole day really =P And bass too !!! Haha I alternate between the two yup yup, got time anyway so making full use of it, although my fingers are getting a bit sore, but like getting used to it too =P So yeah, besides intense guitar and bass training, nothing much really happening, waiting for Chinese New Year !!! Cash woohoo !!! Equals more CDs !!! =D haha yeah I know you all must be rolling your eyes now, like whats new right? =P